14 Ways to Bring a Shy Guy out of His Shell Easily

Make him feel comfortable

The most important thing to keep in mind when trying to get a shy guy to open up is to make him feel comfortable in your presence. Unless he feels at ease around you, he will not even contemplate opening up to you. Let him know that he can be himself in your presence without having to worry about his impression on you.

Give him some time

When you want this guy to come out of his shell, you will have to give him some time. You cannot expect him to open up as soon as you try to make him feel comfortable. It is going to take constant efforts and you will have to accept that. Let him unfurl himself at his own pace.

Be friendly but not over friendly

Learn to distinguish between being friendly and being over friendly. Don’t try to impose yourself or your friendship on him. Just because he is shy doesn’t mean that he would want to be friends with you. Let him make his own decision and giving him his space is one of the most important things that will affect his decision.

Try to find some common interests and talk about them

We all have something in common with each other so find something that interests the two of you and try to make him talk about it. Ask open ended questions so that he answers in sentences instead of monosyllables.

Encourage him share his stories

Once he starts opening up a little bit, encourage him to talk. Ask him to share stories and experiences. He might find it a little difficult initially but once he gets used to the attention, he might even start enjoying it.

Listen attentively when he talks

To make someone believe that you are a good friend and to help him to come out of his shell, you will first have to become a good listener. When he talks, don’t cut him short. Listen to what he says with attention and interest.

Introduce him to your friends

A great way to get someone to open up would be to introduce him to your friends. The more people he gets introduced to, the more conversation he will have to make. He might not feel very comfortable with it initially but once he gets into the habit of interacting with people, even if it’s on a superficial level, he will find it easier to come out of his shell.

Meet at a place he likes

If you are trying to help him to get rid of his shyness, you will have to be a part of his comfort zone. This is easier said than done. To make him feel at ease around you, meet him at places he finds comfortable. Before he comes out of his shell, he needs to have faith in you and trust you enough to know that you will be there so first, let him know that you feel comfortable in his world.

Ask him to make decisions

Since he’s a shy guy, allowing him to make some decisions is going to help him to shed the shyness and become open up. Encourage him to make decisions for himself.

Be patient with him

It is very important to be patient around people who are shy. His inhibitions might have made him very timid and you will have to be patient and persistent in your efforts to help him overcome that.

Try to empathize with him

Empathy always works. When you are constantly making efforts to help someone to overcome his shyness, it is but natural to feel impatient. However, when you try empathize with that person and think about everything from his point of view, you will find it easier to cope up with everything. For someone who has always been shy, opening up and entering the world required a lot of courage so empathizing with him will make it easier for you to think of ways to help him.

Say things to build his confidence and self esteem

Since the guy is shy, you will have to encourage him and help him build his self confidence. Always be positive around him. Use positive words of encouragement and smile whenever you are around him.

Don’t over-shadow him

Since you are an extrovert and he is shy, it is natural for you to appear as a fun loving and interesting person. However, don’t let your merits shadow his. If someone talks about your merits, you can talk about his.

Do things to make him happy

Small things can distribute a lot of happiness. Make a list of things he likes or enjoys and do them for him. Let him know that he can trust you with all his heart. He needs to know that you care about him before he opens up to you.

How To Know If A Guy Is Using You

He doesn’t call you very often:

If a guy is genuinely interested in you, he will call you and try to talk to you as much as possible in order to connect with you on an emotional level but if he’s just trying to use you, he’ll only call enough to make sure you don’t doubt his intentions.

He doesn’t have much to talk about:

Even when he calls, if your conversations are full of awkward pauses that don’t go away with time, it usually means that you guys don’t share the same wavelength. If a guy continues dating you without having any real conversation with you, his intentions might not be as honest as you’d like to believe.

He appears distracted when he’s with you:

Have you been out with him and felt that he’s only physically present or does he leave early every time you are out with him? That might be because he has no real interest in you.

He’s secretive with phone calls around you:

Does he go to a corner and whisper into the phone instead of talking like a normal person whenever he gets a call in your presence? He might have a perfectly logical explanation for that, the most frequent one being that it was his mother’s call and he didn’t want her to know he was out but don’t fall for it. For all you know, that might have been another girl he’s trying to nail!

He doesn’t want you to call him late in the night:

Have you ever called him really late in the night especially if he has asked you to never do that and found his number engaged? I had a friend who was dating someone like this and the guy used to tell her that his mom calls up at odd hours to check on him, thus the engaged number. But eventually, she figured out that he was two timing her.

He is more than happy to spend money on you:

Guys who lie to women about their feelings usually satisfy their guilt by spending a lot of money on them. Women appreciate that and basically everyone gets what they want until the truth comes out.

He wants to take you for a trip very early in a relationship:

Every relationship reaches a certain point after which romantic trips and getaways are eagerly awaited but if your guy wants to take you out for a trip even though it’s evident that the two of you aren’t compatible and don’t connect to each other at all, there’s just one thing he’s looking for.

He avoids talking about his personal life:

A guy who is only interested in having fun with you will usually be reserved when it comes to his personal life. Since he doesn’t care about you or what happens to the relationship, he will not bother to make a lot of effort to connect with you by talking about his life.

He doesn’t introduce you to friends and family:

If a guy has no feelings for you, he won’t care enough to introduce you to people who matter to him. Since an emotional connection is immaterial to him, he will not bother about introducing you to his family.

He tries to keep the relationship a secret:

Some guys go to the extent of talking the girls into keeping the relationship under the wraps even from the mutual friends. This actually helps them to lie without getting caught. Watch out for such guys!

He tries to lower your self esteem:

Some guys try to lower a woman’s self esteem in order to make it difficult for her to leave him and go away once she realizes his game. They say a lot of negative things about their personality so if your guy keeps saying that you are stupid, idiotic and the likes, you should be careful around him.

He keeps pushing for intimacy:

The easiest way to understand if your guy is just using you is to make a mental list of instances where he’s wanted physical intimacy. If he keeps trying to get intimate or keeps pushing you to have sex with him even when you tell him that you are not ready, you should push him out of your life.

His life, in general is a mystery for you:

Mystery is good unless the mystery covers everything in his life. If you know him from work but you don’t know much about his life (even his work life), if he doesn’t mention any of his friends and doesn’t like meeting you in general, it’s quite evident that he doesn’t want you to know anything. The fear of getting caught can be very overpowering.

He gets angry if you don’t want to have sex:

It’s all right for a guy to be disappointed if you don’t want to have sex with him but if he gets really angry or starts shouting and cursing when you refuse to have sex, then that is the only thing that binds him to you. You need no further proof of his real intentions.

Your instincts say that he’s using you:

Nothing can be a better judge of people than your instincts. If your gut tells you that something’s fishy with the guy, chances are that your instinct is right so just dump him.

What Are Your Weaknesses

Be diplomatic in your answers

When asked about your weakness, be diplomatic in your answers. Your prospective employer does not need to know all about your weakness in detail, even if they know about it in brief, it is more than enough. Be diplomatic to the extent that you treat your weakness as part of you and make sure it doesn’t affect your overall answer.

Say it briefly

As a person, you are bound to have more than one weakness. It is therefore essential to mention them briefly to the prospective employer, not as a conversation. You need to finish answering a question based on your weakness as soon as you can otherwise you will make the employer focus on your weakness unnecessarily.

Make comparisons with accomplished personalities

It is always a good idea to make comparisons with well known people who had similar weaknesses as you. For instance, if you are bad at math, then give examples of other great and accomplished people who were bad at math too but still made a name for themselves in spite of it.

Make comparisons with your own strengths

The point should always be to answer questions based on your weakness smartly; one way to do that is to draw comparisons between your weakness and your strength. For example, if you have average communication skills, add that you are great with computers to make up for it.

Talk about how you try to deal with your weakness

Every employer looks for a candidate who is willing to go the extra mile to improve themselves. It is therefore a good idea to talk about your weakness and how or what you do to improve yourself. For instance, when you say you aren’t comfortable with using Ms Office (which is a basic must for most jobs these days), talk about how you started extra classes every evening to improve yourself on the software. This will help employers feel that you are the kind of person who is willing to try even if you have a problem.

Show the interviewer how the weakness have made you perfect

Sometimes, a person’s weakness is what makes them who they are and what makes them strong. So in the real sense, if your weaknesses have helped shape you then you need to show that to the interviewer so that they are not taken aback by your weakness at all.

Tell them you are a wholesome person in spite of your weakness

As long as the interviewer is convinced that you are a wholesome person, your weaknesses aren’t going to matter to them. So try to portray your weaknesses accordingly so that it doesn’t affect their thought / decision to hire you.

In spite of all the points, always remember that you need to portray the best of you to your interviewer. So whatever the question put across to you, you need to be smart enough to answer it the way that gives the best impression of you, read up about handling interviews before you go for one if you aren’t sure of things. There are always books available, always friends to guide you, so use their help so that you can safely ace the interviews that you have to go for.

Always remember that – its about facing the challenge of grabbing the job offer full on.

15 Best Compliments to Give Women

You look beautiful

All women like to feel beautiful. And the best way for them to feel so is by people telling them they are. That’s why this figures as a number one compliment. If you are in a relationship with a woman, be sure to just keep telling her she is really beautiful.

You are so smart / intelligent

Women like to be told that they are smart and intelligent. Teamed with the compliment above, its pretty much one of the best compliments you could give them. Whenever they say or do something smart, tell them that they are very intelligent.

You are a great person

Women have their share of insecurity and therefore they need to often be told that they are great people to be around. A compliment as simple as this can make them feel very good.

You are perfect in every way

Women strive for perfection. They try their best to balance their work and personal commitments and a compliment that refers to how perfect they are can be a great compliment for them.

You are so cute

Along with being pretty or being made to feel pretty, women like to know or be told that they are cute. That’s why; it’s a good thing to tell them that they are cute in their looks and by nature.

You’re a great cook

Women cook (although some hate to from the bottom of their heart) they cook as part of their daily activity. And if they are told that they make delicious food, it makes them want to improve their skills.

You are so unique, I never met someone like you

Although women in general have a lot of similarity, they also strive to be unique and different from other women. So if told that they are unique, they feel really good about it.

You are so sensible and practical

By nature, women are wired to be practical and sensible. That’s why they run much more efficient households as compared to men. When given recognition for their practical sense, they appreciate it a lot.

You are exactly what I have been looking for

Everyone likes to feel loved but women like to feel loved with more drama and if told that they are the one that a man has been looking for, it literally sweeps them off their heels.

You are the ideal woman

Every woman aspires to be ideal and they need to be told that they are to reaffirm it. Ideal in the sense that they are different, they can manage everything they need to with elan and that they go through life successfully.

My world would never be as good, without you

Women like to know that they make a difference to someone’s life, to someone’s world. And its for this that they need to be told once in a way that without them things wouldn’t be as good.

You are an inspiration to me

It gives a woman great happiness to know that she has inspired the life of someone. Or has inspired them to do something better. So, telling her that she is an inspiration works as a great compliment.

I wish more women were like you

By this compliment, you are basically telling a woman that she sets a perfect example for others and this acts as a great compliment for her.

You are a woman of talents

Telling a woman she is talented is another compliment that works well because they love knowing / being told that they have gifts!

You bring out the best in me

A woman loves knowing she brings the better side of people out and telling her so in a compliment is good.

Tips on How to Keep a Conversation Going

Add more points to your counterpart’s ones

During a conversation it is essential to keep talking and expanding the conversation. This can happen if you as a speaker keep adding more points to what you are saying and also to that what your partner is saying. In order to do this you need to be alert during the conversation so that your mind can think up new things to say while the other person speaks. This will help ensure that the conversation moves smoothly.

Be attentive

During a conversation you need to be attentive so that the other person feels like you are interested. If you aren’t attentive enough then the other person will eventually stop talking thus leaving you in a lurch. Be attentive also so that you can reply quickly or react to what your counterpart is saying.

Lead the conversation towards interesting topics

If you having a conversation with someone and you feel that the conversation is going nowhere or is boring then it may hit the pause button soon, unless you take the initiative to lure the conversation by changing the subject and leading it toward an interesting topic. You need learn how to do this properly because you don’t want the change to be too sudden and abrupt either.

Keep passing comments throughout the conversation

While you are having a conversation with someone it is important to keep passing comments while the person is talking so that there can be a level of continuity to the talk. For instance, if the person is talking about their trip to Switzerland, keep saying things like, Oh really? That’s’ wonderful.

Learn to ask questions

If you ask a question, the other person is obliged to answer it. SO, during a conversation, ask as many questions as you can but obviously not too many because you will come across as annoying then! The key lies in asking the “right” questions at the right time.

Contribute to the conversation

No one likes to feel like they are talking to themselves. So when you are in a conversation with someone you need to contribute equally to the conversation too by talking about relevant matters suited to the subject and tone of the conversation.

Initiate interactive banter

During a conversation, you need to get the other person to talk to you as much as they can. This helps avoid road blocks during the talk. It is therefore important to initiate banter. For instance, if someone seems to be hitting the pause button on the conversation, jerk them awake by suddenly picking up any random topic, even something as simple as, “Oh I didn’t notice, your shirt is so smart, where did you get it from?”

Don’t let the other person end the conversation

If you aren’t prepared for an end then don’t give the other person a chance to end the conversation. Its simple, all you need to do is just get the other person to keep talking. Talk about random things, things that give the other person a chance to keep speaking.

Use references

While talking to someone, use a lot of references to give the person more time to think and react. For instance, if you say, “But Alice was thinking of getting it from …. instead”, the person will have a reason to think and say something back thus ensuring that the conversation doesn’t suddenly just stop…

Let your body language help to continue the talking

If you look away while the person is talking or if you keep checking your mobile for a text then the other person will feel that you don’t care and will stop talking. The sudden stop will result in an awkward silence thereafter. The best thing you can do in this case is to let your body language help you by looking the person in the eye when they talk, by smiling when they say something funny… the idea is to find ways to keep the conversation going.